Build a TRIBE not just a Following

We have become obsessed with building leverage, reaching as many people as possible, having a huge impact on a global scale. But increasing your follower count and the number of people you reach is very unlikely to create lasting fulfillment and purpose. I believe that’s why we need to build a tribe, not just a following.

The Rule of 150

We have a natural limit for our social channel capacity that is persuasively told by British anthropologist Robin Dunbar. Dunbar showed that there was a ratio between brain sizes and group sizes through his studies of non-human primates. Through mapping of neuroimaging and observation of time spent on grooming, an important social behaviour of primates. His findings and argument was that as brains evolve, they get bigger, to handle the complexities of larger social groups.

Therefore, through Dunbar’s research, he showed that we can only really maintain about 150 connections at once.

It makes sense on an evolutionary perspective too. This rule of 150 remains true for early hunter-gatherer societies. That we have evolved to only be able to socially handle groups of this size.

It plays out in the modern world too. From offices, communes, factories, residential campsites, military organisations, 11th Century English villages, even Christmas card lists. Exceed 150, and a network is unlikely to last long or cohere well.

It seems we can really only handle 150 people, so why do we chase millions of followers.

Why We Love Big Numbers

Ultimately we are status seeking creatures. And what shows our status more than a blue tick and millions of followers. Our desire for status is a fundamental human motive and incentive that matters because status differences can be demoralising. Whenever you don't feel valued by others it hurts, and the lack of status hurts more people than we think.

Renowned professors who conducted an extensive review of hundreds of studies using a common set of criteria, found that, status is something that all people crave and covet -- even if they don't realise it.

So we crave the numbers. It’s deep within our psychological nature that makes it feel necessary for us to chase status. We feel that the outcome of more status, which in this day and age translates to a large following will be better.

A Following Is Painful

However, despite what we may believe, that a large following will fill us with never ending happiness, the opposite actually tends to be true. Large followings and explosive likes on social media is not what you are really after.

I love the idea from James Lo that there are levels to a ‘successful’ post. A post with a smaller number of likes makes you feel great, comments are from people you know and there is a sense of community and shared context. However, when you get a bigger following, where your posts gain a greater reach, your ego may inflate; however, there are now personal attacks thrown into the mix, messages become misinterpreted, you start dividing people you’ve never known and haters start to emerge.

This idea of levels exists in real life too. Smaller communities are filled with people who actually read your work in-depth, support your ideas and mission. You become the go-to person. Opportunities are created, new friendships formed and yet you don’t get any of the downside. Everyone is supportive, shares deep insights and open to civilised conversation. All the best bits of social media.

But as your numbers grow, when you become truly famous, you start to deal with privacy and safety issues. Random people, who think they know you, start forming strong and immovable opinions of you and you have to deal with constant judgement on your every action. Sure, your ego is boosted to new levels, but the cost of this is detaching you from your close friends, your true supporters, your tribe.

Building a Tribe

Building a tribe means creating a following of people who not only respect you, not only believe you know what you're talking about – but support you, want you to succeed. It is about more than you though, it’s about a cause, a higher purpose.

I think true meaning in our lives will be built from a focus on our tribe, not our following.

100 True Fans

This model of a small tribe can also be perfectly justifiable to monetise. It’s not just a case of people who stand for what you stand for, but people who can actually result in you doing that for a living.

Contrary to mainstream thinking, to be a successful creator you don’t need millions. Kevin Kelly showed how you don’t need millions of dollars or millions of customers, millions of clients or millions of fans. You can make a living as a craftsperson, photographer, musician, designer, author, animator, app maker, entrepreneur, or inventor; with just one hundred true fans. Your tribe.

By embracing online networks, you can bypass traditional gatekeepers and middlemen, get paid directly by a smaller base of fans, and live comfortably off the spoils. A true fan is defined as a fan that will buy anything you produce. Today, creators can effectively make more money off fewer fans.

Personal Experience

At times, I have found the world of social media leaving me throughly lost and empty. You hit post, an explosive stream of likes and comments rush in. Your notifications are overloaded. But I don’t know any of the individual stories and lives behind the number. I can’t visibly see the impact those words, that video is having. You try to distract those true feelings with the focus on growth and rising engagement. You think maybe starting conversations in DM’s will create meaning but those too become swamped and meaningless, with a lot of the messages being superficial anyway.

Whereas the connections and friendships that have sprung from what I’m doing, my tribe, share feedback on my writing, give me new ideas and things to research, have meaningful conversations about what we’re thinking about. It makes me realise that what I am doing is having an impact, and I can really see and feel that impact. That is so much more rewarding than an arbitrary number.

Final Thoughts

Social media has created a world that has conditioned us to believe that the more numbers you have, the better person you are, the happier you will be. It has aligned us to gaining followers at all costs. That more attention is always desirable. And that we have a moral duty to pursue growth. To attain fame.

If you true goal is inner fulfilment, then millions of followers and huge impact will likely leave you unsatisfied. Whereas focusing on building a tribe, with deep, authentic connections, that will allow you to be supported, to pursue your true passion, to build a community that actually care about you and your mission, is far more likely to provide the meaningful life you desire. Where building a tribe matters more than building a following.

Both are not mutually exclusive. You can do both. But maybe it’s time to start to shift your focus on building a tribe and not just a following.